When Friday’s expected apocalypse did not happen, our 12-year-old and 5-year-old amused themselves by making up this apocalyptic tale:
Rainbows came down from the sky, and beautiful multi-colored ponies slid down the rainbows.
The ponies pooped gold coins, and so the humans loved them.
The ponies pooped a lot of gold coins. With so much gold around, money ceased to have any value at all, and everyone basically reverted to bartering goods.
But it wasn’t long before there were no goods to barter. You see, the ponies pooped too much gold, and they wouldn’t stop. Soon the earth was covered in gold coins. The coins crushed the plants, clogged up the streams, and made it impossible for animals to find food.
At first, humans ate the dying animals that covered the land. When those were becoming scarce, humans started hunting and eating the rainbow ponies – which, as it turned out, were delicious.
All of the strict vegetarians died. The remaining carnivorous humans lived on rainbow pony meat.
But the pony meat had bad effects on the people who ate it. Over time, the people lost their wits and became rather stupefied, turning into zombie-like creatures.
As the zombies walked, their feet dragging through the coins made a jingly-jangly sound.
It was the prettiest, jingly-jangliest apocalypse ever.